Mentor

Heard in the wild

The longer version

What it means

A mentor, in church, is a more mature Christian who takes on a younger or newer one: meets with them regularly, studies the Bible with them, prays with them, answers questions, and — most importantly — lets them watch how a seasoned Christian actually lives. A "discipler" is the same thing with a sharper focus on spiritual training, and the word is standard in campus ministries and church discipleship programs. Catholics and Orthodox have older terms — spiritual director, spiritual father or mother — for a similar role with more structure.

The relationship is usually informal, one-on-one, and long — months to years — and it's how a great many Christians say their faith became their own.

Why people say it

Because faith is caught more than taught. Paul told Timothy to pass on what he'd learned "to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others," and Titus 2 tells older women to train younger ones — the Bible assumes faith moves person to person. Churches can teach doctrine from the front; only a mentor can show someone how to handle a hard marriage, a job loss, or a doubt.

How to respond

If someone offers to mentor or disciple you, they're offering their time and attention for your good; you can accept, decline, or ask what it would involve. If a friend says they're looking for a mentor, they're admitting they'd like help and don't know where to find it — introducing them to someone is a real kindness. If you're asked to be a mentor, it means someone sees maturity in you; it's a commitment of an hour or so a week for a season, not a lifetime.

If you hear it in different churches

Evangelical, Baptist, and non-denominational churches use "mentor" and "discipler" and build programs around them. Catholics have spiritual direction — a trained director meeting with someone about their prayer life — and sponsors for those entering the church. Orthodox have the spiritual father, a priest or monastic whose guidance is sought over a lifetime. Anglicans and Lutherans use spiritual direction and mentoring both. The relationship is universal; the vocabulary isn't.

Where does “Mentor” come from?

Moses and Joshua, Elijah and Elisha, Jesus and the Twelve, Barnabas and Paul, Paul and Timothy — scripture is a chain of mentors. Priscilla and Aquila taking Apollos aside to explain "the way of God more adequately" (Acts 18) is a favorite example. The desert fathers and mothers of the 300s formalized spiritual direction in the East; the medieval church developed it in the West. "Discipler" as a term comes from the Navigators and campus ministries of the mid-twentieth century, whose one-to-one method spread the practice across evangelicalism. The word "mentor" itself is from Homer's Odyssey.

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